Oh Poe!

Remember banana man?

According to Phil Plait, he has a blog! It’s only a little stupider than the banana video, which leads me to wonder if Ray Comfort is actually an actor who’s a closet evolutionist making creationists look stupider than they actually are. Creationists can’t be that stupid, can they? Oh… I am so tempted to invoke Poe’s law on Ray Comfort.

Right then, from his latest blog post on the Phoenix lander…

Pasadena scientists rejoiced recently when their robot landed on Mars. Their expedition cost $420 million, took years to plan, and required an amazing ten months for the flight. The robot will collect soil samples and look for evidence that Mars could support life. Does the red planet have the “building blocks of life”?

First of all, the Phoenix lander cost us less than we spend in a day fighting the Iraq War.

Considering that creationists believe that God shaped Adam from the dust and breathed life into his nostrils, then Mars does have what the creationists believe are the building blocks of life. For some reason, believing that amino acids and the base pairs of DNA found when the conditions of early Earth are replicated are the building blocks of life doesn’t seem as absurd.

I was excited when man first brought back samples from the moon’s surface. We waited while the amazing samples were tested. We waited for a long time. I guess enthusiasm waned a little when they discovered that God had made the moon from dirt. What did they expect? I’m sure that they will find that God also made Mars of dirt. Dirt. A $420 million discovery. How amazing.

Come on… Poe’s law will kick in any time now, right? Nobody is actually that scientifically ignorant. Come to think of it, my history teacher doesn’t know that Earth is the third planet from the Sun… but that error was quickly corrected. History teacher > Ray Comfort.

Hell, dirt can be exciting. What we found was that the moon is composed of the same elements most commonly found towards the surface of the Earth. This is evidence for the theory that the moon formed from the Earth when a Mars-sized planetesimal collided with it, the ejected matter eventually forming the moon. We found evidence that God did not make the moon, but that a spontaneous cosmic collision did.

But that’s not what Phoenix was sent to Mars for. We already knew that it was made of dirt and rocks, of course (it is a freaking terrestrial planet, after all). Phoenix was sent to look for ice in the polar region. I’m sure that they will find that Mars has ice, water ice, at its polar region. This would be exciting because it would provide evidence that Mars may have once been able to support life if it had liquid water on its surface, and we might be able to unfreeze the ice caps to potentially terraform Mars so that we can live there someday if we screw up our planet enough.

Maybe we should spend our time and money on cleaning up the dirt in our own backyard. There sure is plenty of it.

Maybe, but studying planetary science has given us lots of insight onto how our own planet works. Venus, where the temperature is a cool 864°F, is a good example of what might happen to Earth if we don’t stop global warming.

If we ever discover intelligent life forms in space, it’s a given that we will start a war and kill them.

I actually wasn’t surprised by this last part. Creationists are professionals at jumping to weird conclusions like that with no evidence.

Come on Comfort… I’m invoking Poe’s law on you a third time. Come out of the closet, I know that you’re just an actor making fun of creationists, right?

Feel free to leave comments on his blog. Just remember…

Feel free to disagree and to be passionate about your beliefs (open discussion is healthy), but keep in mind that comments that use cuss words (even “mild” words and abbreviations for cuss words), blasphemy, a lack of civility, or those that fail to give the name “God” or “Jesus” capitals, will be automatically deleted.


13 responses to this post.

  1. My ex-wife used to say on occasion, “Don’t be stupider than you already are.”

    Her remark applies to creationists in spades.

  2. I’m really hoping this guy is an actor, because, really, the stupid…it hurts…*bashes head into wall*

  3. He deletes posts that fail to capitalise certain words?

    Anal, much?

  4. Ray Comfort, I mean this in the best possible way;


  5. Even when I was still a Christian, I still would have felt like inserting Ray’s conveniently-shaped banana into one of his conveniently-shaped orifices … which reminds me, why are people like him so anti-homosexual when certain parts of the anatomy fit so damn well together? It’s almost like they were … designed to! Huh? Ray?

  6. So, can I refer to other gods in lowercase? I mean, if I’m talking about the god of thunder, that’s not a proper name, right?

    I would say that Ray is terrified we’ll find evidence of life on Mars, which will further puncture creationism, except I don’t think he actually understands even that much.

  7. I like the fact he has to state the obvious, if you are using a proper noun it should be capitalised (even if you are talkling about imaginary proper nouns). I mean i approve of the push for the improvement of gramma but to just delete such posts seems to be a bit harsh. Besides my spolling is bad to begin with so chances are i may miss the odd grammatical nicety

  8. I’ve spent the last 10 years trying to clean up dirt in my own back yard. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Thus far, it seems like my yard might actually be made of dirt.

  9. It astounds me when I read things like that. Especially, when they type it on the internet. Where do they think the technology that they use to spread their ignorance comes from? The Bible?

    Oh, and I always capitalize Zeus, Thor, Aphrodite, Cthulu, Jehovah, Yahweh, etc. However, since some people refer to their deity by a common noun name, I find it silly to capitalize it.

  10. @Robert

    Maybe Mr. Comfort can get you a $420M grant for that.

  11. Ray Comfort said: “I guess enthusiasm waned a little when they discovered that God had made the moon from dirt. What did they expect? I’m sure that they will find that God also made Mars of dirt. Dirt. A $420 million discovery. How amazing.”

    You’d think that a man who is so excited about the wonders of the banana would appreciate that banana trees can’t grow unless they’re planted in – you guessed it – dirt.

  12. Posted by Rick on May 31, 2008 at 6:36 am

    New to your site Elles, but loving every word you’ve written so far. Just wanted to say that I think it would be interesting to get it on paper which various religious groups claim that the only life in the universe is on Earth – just to watch them wiggle when its eventually discovered elsewhere.

  13. This reminds me of the song “Stick a Banana in Your Ear” (most likely viewable on YouTube)!

    Seriously, the US has LOST $14.9 billion in Iraq since the war started. That’s funding UNACCOUNTED for. MISSING. The $420 million is just a drop in the bucket.

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