Friday, 8th Period

“Friday, 8th Period” refers to the most ignunt time of my week. 8th period is when I have Speech & Debate and Friday is when the ignunce is most potent.

The school year is almost over, and I (hopefully) probably will never have a class like my Speech & Debate class again. But, I had an idea a while back to do a regular feature on my blog called “Friday, 8th Period” which I would post every Monday. In it, I figured I’d include quotes which were said in my Speech & Debate class and share some of the ignunce with the world.

As I’ve said, I’m likely going to run out of such quotes soon, but when I do, it’s quite likely that I will hear quotes of the type I would’ve heard in my Speech & Debate class.

This week, I have a persuasive speech that was delivered in class on the Oreo cookie, courtesy of Matt.

(Acts like Ninja). Now that I have your attention, I am here to tell you why the Oreo is the best cookie.

Oreos are the best cookie because they are the most versatile popular and that they can relieve stress.
Oreos come in many varieties including but not limited to Golden Oreo, uh oh Oreo, the mini Oreo, the double stuffed Oreo, the big stuff Oreo, Oreo cakesters, and 100-calorie packs Oreo otherwise known as Oreo thinstations in Canada.

How many ways can you eat a regular chocolate chip cookie? The answer is not many. With an Oreo one can eat it all once, take their time, eat just the cookie, just do the filling, twist the two halves apart like the filling and eat the cookie, or the ever popular method of dipping the entire cookie and milk then using one of the previously stated methods.

According to a study I conducted 95% of people prefer Oreos dipped in milk to King Soopers brand, Kido’s dipped in milk. If this statistic was applied to our school with a population of around a 3600, only 180 kids would not prefer Oreos dipped in milk to the kiddos dipped in milk.

Oreos come in more varieties than any other cookie these varieties include but are not limited to Golden Oreo, uh oh Oreo, the mini Oreo, the double stuffed Oreo, the big stuff Oreo, Oreo cakesters, and 100 calorie packs Oreo otherwise known as Oreo thinstations in Canada.

Oreos slogan is “milk’s favorite cookie” now if this wasn’t true wouldn’t Nabisco be sued for false advertising? Would everyone try to sue them to be a millionaire? The answer is yes. Still don’t believe me? In January 2000, Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson’s son according to wiko.com. This proves my point fully.

Now in my interview with Erin Eskovitz a caterer with a degree in culinary arts who is also currently in the process of opening a restaurant witch already has such celebrity investors as Paris Hilton’s grandfather who invested 50,000 dollars she said “my favorite cookie is a peanut butter cookie with chocolate chips.” I asked why she said, “Because it is rich and elegant” how a cookie can be elegant, I don’t know, however, she is wrong. This so called cookie can only be eaten in bites unlike an Oreo witch can be eaten in many ways. Oreo 1 stooped (stupid) cookie zero. This cookie comes in one variety, Oreos come in many varieties these varieties include but are not limited to Golden Oreo, uh oh Oreo, the mini Oreo, the double stuffed Oreo, the big stuff Oreo, Oreo cakesters, and 100 calorie packs Oreo otherwise known as Oreo thinstations in Canada.

When I get stressed I don’t take a bubble bath, punch a whole in the wall, light some scented candles or funny fourth thing, I eat chocolate. Oreos are 2 parts chocolate and 1 part filling, I like that ratio. So when you get stressed to the max don’t funny fourth thing, have an Oreo. Or have a lot of reduced fat Oreos. Oreos come in many varieties these varieties include but are not limited to Golden Oreo, uh oh Oreo, the mini Oreo, the double stuffed Oreo, the big stuff Oreo, Oreo cakesters, and 100 calorie packs Oreo otherwise known as Oreo Thinstations in Canada.

Yes. He really repeated eight different types of Oreos that many times.

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8 responses to this post.

  1. “Oreos slogan is “milk’s favorite cookie” now if this wasn’t true wouldn’t Nabisco be sued for false advertising?”

    OK, I’m turning that into a song.

  2. Well, it certainly sounds like it’s meant to be satirical. Not that funny, admittedly, but are you claiming that this guy was actually serious?

  3. Posted by ianwayne on May 19, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    I watched a girl give a persuasive speech, in which she argued that all public schools in the U.S. should require uniforms. During her entire presentation she played a Reba Mcentire song about a prostitute sending out her daughter to go whore for money, and she was constantly showing slides of japanese school girls.

    It was bizarre.

  4. I wish you had that speech on uniforms on video.

    It sounds awesome!!!

  5. Hm… I might be a victim of Poe’s law, Susan, but when you hear somebody seriously say that they don’t know why the American Revolution was fought nothing they say sounds too outrageous.

  6. That whole speach is just out right silly… The best cookies in the world are Tim Tams http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Tam

  7. “but when you hear somebody seriously say that they don’t know why the American Revolution was fought nothing they say sounds too outrageous.”

    Okay, you have me there.

  8. M&Ms >> Oreos

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