To celebrate the opening of the new Indiana Jones film, I’m doing a post making fun of the myth being used as a plot device. Don’t get me wrong, I love Indiana Jones and if it weren’t for finals this week, I would have seen the film already, but I hate it when myths are perpetrated just to make money. And I’m not exactly pointing the finger at Spielberg (though he is known for a few pseudoscientific tendencies), but Skiffy’s doing it.
Skiffy is an unaffectionate term Stargate fans developed for Sci-Fi channel after it canceled Stargate: SG-1. I’m not only unaffectionate of Skiffy because it canceled one of the coolest science fiction shows ever, but also because they have very little science fiction that they’re not trying to pass of as fact anymore. They’ve got stuff like Destination Truth (a show that searches for mythical creatures like mermaids), Ghost Hunters, and “documentaries” like “The Mystery of the Crystal Skulls” .
Sounds like material suitable for the science fiction channel, but they just have to present it as if it were science fact.
One of archaeology’s most compelling mysteries is that of the 13 crystal skulls. The crystal skulls have been some of the most powerful mystical symbols in human history. Several “perfect” crystal skulls have been found in parts of Mexico and Central and South America. Together, they form a mystery as enigmatic as the Great Pyramids and Stonehenge.
This summer the connection will become known worldwide, with the release of the new Indiana Jones movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Hosted by Lester Holt, SCI FI’s investigative special Mystery of the Crystal Skulls will explore the history of these perplexing artifacts — the myths, the legends, the controversies, and the secret scientific tests performed on them behind closed doors.
But if we wish to comprehend their deepest mysteries, we must hurry. According to the prophecy, only by reuniting all or nearly all of the 13 crystal skulls can humankind unlock secrets that will allow us to avoid the apocalypse predicted by the ancient Mayan calendar — which comes to end on Dec. 21, 2012.
The countdown for the salvation of the human race has begun.
Why are we trusting the Mayans anyway? They couldn’t predict the downfall of their own civilization, and how the hell were they supposed to be able to predict when the world would end?
About the Mayan calendar… It operates on cycles. You know, like a circle which ends and begins again. The way they calculated that date was based on when this particular cycle is supposed to end. These cycles happen every 1,872,000 days. If the end of each cycle was really supposed to be the end of the world, considering that the world is 4.6 billion years old… Damn it, where’s my calculator?
Right then, in the history of the Earth it should have ended about (rounding up) 900,000 times. Even Rainbow Eagle knew this.
So, I’m still planning on hopefully getting my bachelors degree sometime in 2012 and working on my masters in 2013. On the off chance that New Age gurus turn up evidence that 2012 is actually the end of the world, you’re all invited to an End-of-the-World party at my place.
Anyway, Skiffy was also claiming that the crystal skulls were “alien artefacts” because everybody knows that the Mayans were incompetent idiots who couldn’t have built any of their cities/temples/etc on their own!
And, indeed, Skiffy got Richard Hoagland to connect the crystal skulls to there being life on Mars. Woohoo! Alien artefacts!
And now for something completely different… A reliable news source, the BBC says… here’s a shocker… They’re not alien artefacts!
Crystal skulls are the focus of the story in the latest Indiana Jones film.
But experts say examples held at the British Museum in London and the Smithsonian Institution in Washington DC are anything but genuine.
Their results show the skulls were made using tools not available to the ancient Aztecs or Mayans.
Researchers say the work, which is published in the Journal of Archaeological Science, should end decades of speculation over the origins of these controversial objects.
And it casts serious doubt over the authenticity of other crystal skulls held in collections around the world.
Apparently the markings on the skulls, when looked at through an electron microscope, show that the tool used was probably a rotary wheel, something that the Mayans most likely did not have.
Who made the skulls is still a mystery. But, in the case of the British Museum object, some point the finger of suspicion at a 19th Century French antiquities dealer called Eugene Boban.
“We assume that he bought it from, or had it made from [craftsmen] somewhere in Europe,” said Professor Freestone, a former deputy keeper of science and conservation at the British Museum.
Contemporary documents suggest Mr Boban was involved in selling at least two of the known crystal skulls – the one held in London and another in Paris.
The London skull was probably manufactured no more than a decade before being offered up for sale.
NPR also did a story on it for the opening of the Indiana Jones movie.
One thing the scientists have figured out is that the British Museum’s skull came from Boban, that mysterious French collector. In the late 1800s, he first described it as a piece of artwork. Then he began calling it an Aztec artifact, in an attempt, Sax says, to make it “more appealing in order to sell it.”
So, what are these things? Walsh says they’re not exactly “fakes” because they aren’t copies of anything.
“I don’t think there are any real ones,” she explains. “They’re really a kind of invented artifact. … Some person or some workshop was cranking them out and selling them to a European or North American audience, which is where they all wind up.”
I don’t blame the Russians for getting upset about being associated with the lunatic crystal skull tosh (and by the way, some Spaniards are jumping over babies to ward off me the devil).
Well, gosh! If I could find that on the Internet, surely the douche bags making this “documentary” could find it too.
Just how deluded are the network executives at Skiffy? I don’t know, but hey! Bull shit sells! Hope your distortion of science has you laughing all the way to the bank, Skiffy.