Phil Plait is Wrong!

May 13, 2008

I didn’t mean it, Phil. I admire you and all but…

While poking around the intertoobs a few days ago, I found a remarkable blog by a young woman. She volunteers at the Denver Museum of Science and Nature, an excellent place where you can learn all about reality (and where “my” black hole show was created).

Sadly, this young woman also sees creationists giving tours and lying about said reality. Her blog post on this subject is truly worth reading. It would be considered well-written and thoughtful by anyone.

So imagine my surprise when I found out, coincidentally just now, that she’s only 14.

Fourteen! Amazing. I foresee a very bright future ahead of this young lady.

Actually, I’m not 14. I just turned 15 in March. Sorry for the confusion. Just had to fix that error.

You’re still awesome, Phil!

I have the most pointless English assignment ever. I have to write a survival manual, due tomorrow, for a foreign and hostile environment. I have a lot of personal experiences being stranded in a foreign and hostile environment!

It’s not so much that I can’t do technical writing, but I have a very short period of time to do a lot of research so that my information is factual and I don’t get points docked, and it’s not even worth that many points. Half the websites she gave us links to do research on are from loonies who think that the world is about to end.

Survival Risk Quotient: 63
Captain Dave’s Survival Risk Quotient, is updated regularly and attempts to rank how close we are to an all-out global disaster, also know as TEOTWAWKI, or “the end of the world as we know it.” 100 is T EOTWAWKI, 50 is an average threat level and 0 is a peaceful world with no threats, or what it would have been like for Adam and Eve without the Serpent.

From: Captain Dave’s Survival Center and Preparedness Resource

Alright… other than the “TEOTWAWKI” stuff, I found some useful stuff, but this assignment is going under the assumption that we’re not paranoid dooms-day sayers who are planning on having the world devolve into chaos.

So, to save me from the pointless tedium, I’m taking a break and writing a survival guide for the Bible Belt for my own personal amusement.

  1. Don’t put your faith in the governments of the Bible Belt. The South has always had a strong tendency to not respect the constitution. Luckily, the South didn’t win the Civil War and still is part of the Union. If they do pass a legislation allowing the teaching of religion creationism in science classrooms, you might be able to take it to the Supreme Court and win.
  2. Forget freedom of speech. Putting a Darwin fish on your car sends a beacon to rednecks that you and your car should be vandalized.
  3. Be careful with words over five letters long. Rednecks have a highly limited vocabulary.
  4. Go to church. Even if you just listen to your iPod in the back to minimize the mind-numbing drivel, you don’t want the community thinking you’re not one of them.
  5. Obtain a Romulan disruptor. Let’s see them use a pitchfork against that!
  6. Make an escape plan for all areas of the town. If all of the above fail, you’ll need it in case they decide to revive the practice of lynching.

My dearest apologies to the dozen or so people living there who are reasonable.

Back to tedium for me…

Freakin’ Cult

May 5, 2008

I’ve been noticing Scientology ads everywhere from the Rational Response Squad website, to Urban Dictionary. The irony was that I was looking up the word “failboat” when I noticed it. If I weren’t so dumb as to not know how to take a screen shot, it would have been a perfect Kodak moment. I found ads for Scientology next to the definition of failboat to be as appropriate as the title of Astrology for Dummies.

I was totally inspired by Eli Bacik to rip off of Reed’s blog and create a “Praise for Splendid Elles” page.

“A whiney kid rambling about how everyone else is an idiot. Fucking brilliant, to be sure.”

Eli Bacik, some kid on Facebook.

“Dear Fish…”

–Ron McEwen, Hallettestoneion Research Project (I just thought it was funny being called ‘Fish’)

“What, that Elles girl? I think that she’s a total twatbitchcuntwhorestreisand. If she were of legal age, I’d say fuck her!”

Reed

“If you carry on at your present rate, you are certainly going to make your mark in the world.”

–Richard Dawkins

“Dawkfan FAIL!”

–Shalini Sehkar

Eureka!

May 2, 2008

I was in the Oxford English Dictionary, searching for a good dictionary definition of anti-intellectualism. It didn’t really provide that, but, it said “see fideism” and so I did. The word is perfect to describe the fallacious thinking most commonly used by theists.

fideism

Any doctrine according to which all (or some) knowledge depends upon faith or revelation, and reason or the intellect is to be disregarded, as

  • a. = TRADITIONALISM;
  • b. a Roman Catholic theory developed from Kantian idealism;
  • c. in Protestant usage, also derived from Kant, with reference to justification by faith.

Hence {sm}fideist, fide{sm}istic a.

Why didn’t I know that this word existed before?! My Flying Spaghetti Monster, it’s a perfect word!

And because L. Ron Brown asked nicely… I’m giving linkage to CarnivUL of The fraudless: exposing the CULT!

I Was Wrong…

April 30, 2008

OMFSM! Telekinesis is real! This video proves it! It’s undeniable!

Why?!? Why did my dogmatic scepticism have to have such a strong hold over me?!? I was a maniac!

I’m not ditching, I’m just purposefully arriving late. It’s the most I can get away with when a teacher pisses me off.

On Friday, we had begun talking about Freud in English and a kid reccommended a book, A New Earth, to her because it apparently dealed with the ego. Over the weekend, I went ahead and took a look at it… and it was far from worth reading. The guy who wrote it is a Lamarckian evolutionist. Considering that he accepts evolution, that already puts him ahead of the curve… but Lamarckian evolutionists still go down in my book as idiots.

He also buys into the whole Gaia thing.

Not only that, but he says that everything is made of “vibrating energy fields” and that the reason why we can’t see thoughts is because these vibrating energy fields are vibrating at a higher frequency.

In short, whenever he said something about science, even if it were a correct fact, he managed to twist it around to something completely and utterly dumb.

I was explaining to my English teacher this morning how reading the book wouldn’t be worth her while because the science was wrong. Somehow I also started talking about how The Secret was another exemplary example of somebody twisting scientific jargon to either make a quick buck or comfort themselves, and she said in a rather harsh voice…

“You know what? I think you need to lighten up and deal with a little spirituality.”

She knows I’m a materialist.

Well, I’d have to say that for a materialist, I’m as happy as a lark. There is plenty in the real world to take awe and wonder from. Quantum mechanics on its own is freaking awesome. There’s no need to twist it to add in the spirituality.

I’d rather take happiness from something that’s real than all this ever so hallowed spirituality which needs to distort truth to make people happy.

And with that rant done, I’m going back to English.

I know that sounds like an oxymoron but… occasionally (not on a daily basis) a theist will actually say something intelligent.

“Of course if [Behe] loves flagella the same way some pedophile priests like little boys that is a problem.”

James T. Kirk